Plenty Wizards (by 4EH)

July 2024
Inspired by “Eyes Of The Overworld” by Jack Vance, 1966
Special request recorded for Adamantium VIP Ticketholder Sean M,
and which he has generously agreed to share with all of you in the permanent archive!
 
[CHORUS]
World’s getting kind of dark
Plenty wizards in
Someone could cast Restart
But it isn’t them
Hold them in ill regard
Who’s listening
No one? Guess again
Plenty wizards been
 
[MC LARS as Iucounu]
Master of the twisted stage, they call me the Laughing Mage,
Luring rogues like Cugel in, they think they’re slick, but turn the page
Magic manse with traps so tight, catchin’ thieves both day and night,
I bait the hook, they take a look, then poof, they're gone, out of sight.
Twisting minds with schemes and guile, watching fools go extra miles
Sent him off to fetch the Eye, while I sit back and crack a smile.
Crafting chaos, bending fates, pulling strings while they’re my bait,
I'm Iucounu lay in wait, with games and tricks I orchestrate!
 
[MC FRONTALOT as Cugel]
Ooooh, another ache in my liver, another weight to consider.
A trinket it’s a mistake to deliver,
but two errors to keep for myself.
Rarely proceeded with stealth,
nearly depleted my health, nearly retreated, but, well,
behind me was so dangerous.
Might’ve incurred the wrath of the tavern staff, or the whole neighborhood.
And the regional magic user heard me
talking a bit of my shit as I scurried (hurry hurry).
 
Wizards been
Keeping their ears perked up
 
[CHORUS]
 
[MEGA RAN as Pharesm]
Negotiating ain’t my favorite thing to do
Especially with Cugel who is scamming as per usual
Hmm, I could subject him to a fate most cruel
Unleash my legion of beasts who love to prey on fools
But what do you know, he found what I’ve been seeking for millennia
Hand it over Cugel or this truly is the end of ya
(Well, I ate it) what?? (Sorry)
A creature so coveted
there will be punishment
I sent him back in time
He can’t come back till he recovers it
 
[SCHAFFER THE DARKLORD as Zaraides]
He discovered it: the cave in the forest
Now this deplorable, highly immoral knave is before us
Lord, it’s been 26 days or more since my name was important
Before Zaraides the Sage was taken away by abhorrent
And horribly odorous rodent folk enslaving the poorest
In chains, made to play into a game of trade that they force us
I’m sure he’ll steal from me, but if we both find gain in it for us
I’ll pay him back with a path to the first mage that he tormented
Play the chorus
 
[CHORUS]