Bad Nerd

I remember back in the previous millennium
when, um, nerds were sighted, it was “Ready? Get ‘em!”
You’d hide it if you could, but none of us were able.
Maybe congregate together and discuss the label.
Maybe form a roundtable of the meek folk,
even chuckle at what we deemed an elite joke:
the elevation of our intellects and our low status
intersecting in sadness. It was so bad, it was
awful, I was there, I remember it.
I was present at the founding of the syndicate,
a pleasant moment of comradery
when we swore we’d shape the world to how it ought to be.
We’d make everything perfect,
tempt the planet with heavenly circuits,
work it till we’re what the world is in need of.
Thought there was only good nerds at the meet-up.

You don’t need to be bad nerd
Step away from the dark side
You don’t need to be bad nerd
You can muster some pride
you don’t have to be bad

Our conspiracy spread rapidly.
None of the cool kids knew what was happening.
A-list: Peter Jackson, Sam Raimi.
Want your geek satisfactions? Pay Me.
Make it free, then charge them when the bill comes.
Yo, internet, where’d you get your skills from?
How’d you hide in every pocket,
every step of the way maintaining an open socket,
worming into their psyches,
giving them weird nerd urges however unlikely,
ever so slightly instilling
nerd rage into the unwilling?
Bad nerds ascending with no ceiling,
kind of like we always did: the opposite of chilling.
Cannot stand a slight, demands a killing.
It’s bad for that to be fulfilling.

Bad nerds, hacking the election and the top ten,
didn’t even stop then.
Make ‘em gargle on your hot phlegm.
Might even SWAT your friends. Show your raw contempt
for anyone who isn’t nerd at all.
That’s when you lost the plot, you got enthralled
by power for its own sake.
Up in my geekery tower, seeking my own break
from fucking getting hassled.
Why you got to make nerd mean asshole?
Why you got to make internet cruel?
Turn part of it into a murderous idiot school.
Turn the rest of it into paranoia fuel.
Wreck the normies, they’re annoying you.
But what you’re wrecking is the clique you represent
You don’t need to be bad. Ain’t too late to repent.