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If You Wanna (by 4EH)
(as The Four-Eyed Heartthrobs)
February 2021
[CHORUS]
If you wanna be with me or the other three
You better get familiar with our checklists
If you wanna get with us, you gotta earn our trust
Before anybody’s gonna get kissed
If you wanna feel the love and do what you’re thinking of
You’ll have to pass a test to make the guest list
If you follow all our tips, then maybe we can dip
And tomorrow morning we can get some breakfast
[SCHAFFER THE DARKLORD]
All of y’all in all the malls are making mad noise
Writing fan mail asking how to nab the bad boy
Well, I like it when they act mean, I like the smell of gasoline
And I’ve had a goatee since I was thirteen
If you don’t wear mismatched shoes, I gotta bounce
I want a boo with a bloody nose and a haunted house
To pass the time in a casket full of wine
Telling me their secrets but won’t ask me for mine
[MC LARS]
I’m the fun one, son, tons of nuns they run
To get an autograph yet my story’s just begun
Me? I like long walks and poetry analysis
And when I’m older you’ll help with my dialysis
The Four Eyed Horsemen - are monetizing COVID
Online shows promoted - touring soon I hope it
Means that pretty soon live shows are on the menu
So pack those vaccine records for hugs up in the venue
[CHORUS]
If you wanna be with me or the other three
You better get familiar with our checklists
If you wanna get with us, you gotta earn our trust
Before anybody’s gonna get kissed
If you wanna feel the love and do what you’re thinking of
You’ll have to pass a test to make the guest list
If you follow all our tips, then maybe we can dip
And tomorrow morning we can get some breakfast
[MC FRONTALOT]
Frontalot is the stubbly boyband member,
the one who’s clearly too old for the group, and the May/December
aspirations of the fanbase barely make any sense.
It’s the Daddy Issues Issue of Tiger Beat, but I’ll take it I guess.
If I’m taking a rest, you can win my heart
by bringing me a hot sarsaparilla and meds, just to start,
fresh pair of sock garters and my ointments.
Get a stubbly romance appointment
[MEGA RAN]
I’m pretty shy that is until you get to know me
Then I can be your homie, you can call me if you’re lonely
And we can sit on the phone and, can read me a story
Or you can play a video game and completely ignore me
You see, love is so tricky when I try I fail
So I don’t know if I’d be comfy meeting IRL
So.. maybe we can zoom and have a couple of beers,
While my mom supervises
You know, nothing too weird, call me!
[CHORUS]
If you wanna be with me or the other three
You better get familiar with our checklists
If you wanna get with us, you gotta earn our trust
Before anybody’s gonna get kissed
If you wanna feel the love and do what you’re thinking of
You’ll have to pass a test to make the guest list
If you follow all our tips, then maybe we can dip
And tomorrow morning we can get some breakfast
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